(gentle music) ♪ Escaping conversations, not tryna escape the faith ♪ ♪ 'Cause I was placed in our Father who art in heaven ♪ ♪ You come first ♪ Lead me away from temptation ♪ No time for distraction the way I'm operating ♪ ♪ See I'm tryna over deliver - 2021 has been a year like no other.

Many of us were forced out of our comfort zone, because of what's happening in the world.

Some people went out of that comfort zone and beyond.

This is "Cutline: Hope, Heroes and Feats of Humanity".

I'm Chion Wolf.

(upbeat music) In this episode, we'll feature people from Connecticut, who've done bold, brave, audacious things over the course of this most difficult year, including performances by Hartford's first official troubadour and flow artist.

You'll meet a man who went from completely paralyzed to running a gauntlet.

You'll meet another man who's now running a restaurant right across the street from the courthouse he was convicted in.

And we'll talk with Bella, an 11 year old, who organized her town's first pride parade.

And we'll watch the journey of Matt, a Paralympic athlete who took his talents all the way to Tokyo.

COVID was, is, hard on all of us in a 1,000 different ways.

When Greg Whitehouse contracted COVID last November, he began a journey of recovery unlike most others.

COVID activated a previously undiagnosed immune disorder called Guillain-Barré syndrome which left him paralyzed from the shoulders down.

- We've got local heroes giving us hope.

And I got some bars to say for Greg Whitehouse, dealing with Guillain-Barré, the syndrome.

♪ A lot of us are worried getting older now ♪ ♪ But Greg was paralyzed from the shoulders down ♪ ♪ If you work at Gaylord Hospital, here's a shout for you ♪ ♪ He not only recovered, he accomplished the impossible ♪ ♪ He ran a Tough Mudder that's further than a lot of us ♪ ♪ He actually went from paralyzed ♪ ♪ to running five kilometers - Take me back to a few days before your 61st birthday last year, you came down with symptoms of COVID.

What were you feeling?

- Well, you know what?

When I came down with the symptoms, it was sorta like everybody has, I had a little fever in the evening, a little shortness of breath.

And I got up the next morning and it was worse, I went right and got a test.

And that was when COVID was really raging a lot, so it took me, I didn't get the results till Wednesday, but by then I was already almost better.

So I was thinking, oh, this is the best, I got COVID and nobody else in my family had got it from me, they all got tested.

I'm golden.

Everything's just gonna be so easy now.

- And then, tell me about the symptoms that you started feeling that were evidence that something was wrong, something was really, really terribly wrong.

- Some of the symptoms that came up, which I didn't realize were symptoms at the time, about the seven days after I got COVID, I started having some pain in my back, and I thought, oh, I must have just pulled a muscle.

You know, I'd been home, you had to stay home then for 10 days.

But it slowly got worse each day.

And by the following Wednesday, which was like 12 days after I had COVID, it was so painful that I couldn't stand it, you know?

- So then you became an inpatient here at Gaylord on November 27th last year.

And at that point, you were diagnosed with Guillain-Barré syndrome, GBS.

- Right.

- Had you ever heard of this before?

- I had never heard of GBS, but I learned quickly that it's really an auto-immune disease that causes your immune system to ruin your nervous system.

- And it was COVID that set this off.

- It could have been, they'll never really know for sure.

They don't really understand what sets it off fully, but there's a good chance because I had COVID that that's what started the whole process.

- And would you describe what happened next with your body?

- On the Friday, I had felt so bad, I called my doctor and I was online, you know, doing one of the medical things online with them.

And the doctor asked me to stand on one foot.

And when I stood on my left foot, it was like someone pulled the string, my body collapsed.

I fell to the floor, I bruised my ribs, I jammed my right leg, I thought I sprained my ankle.

And the worst part was, I couldn't get up.

My wife was there, she called an ambulance.

They took me to the hospital and luckily for me, within like four hours, they diagnosed that I had Guillain-Barré syndrome and they started the treatment, an IVIG treatment, which really started me, would help me later on down the road.

But my neurologist said to me, "No matter what we do, it's gonna get worse "before it gets better."

And slowly over the next four days, I went from being normal to being completely paralyzed.

And I mean, completely.

Every function of my body, luckily, except for my heart and my breathing was gone.

- What were you thinking?

- Oh, I was terrified, to be honest with you.

You know, it's just... And even though they're saying, "Don't worry, it's gonna get better."

When you're laying there and you can literally, I couldn't barely hold my phone.

That's all I could do.

You know, I was like, okay, sure.

Sure, it's gonna get better.

It was more mentally terrifying than anything.

The physical part was almost, you know, you could ignore it, but when you're just...

I was dependent on people for every function of my life.

- You'd never, up until this point, spent a single night in a hospital.

And you're paralyzed and terrified.

Talk about that entire experience of going from a hospital free life, you got lucky, to this drastic situation.

- Yeah.

It was quite an experience in the hospital, because it was right when COVID was raging.

And because I had had COVID, I was in the COVID ward.

So, everybody that came in, double mask, double gowns, face shield, they came in, they did what they had to do, they got out quick, no visitors.

I was in there eight days, zero visitors, I'd say by the six days, it had really broken me, mentally, I actually called my wife on the seventh day and said, "I think they've deserted me here and left me to die."

And she said, "No, they didn't.

"Everything is good."

I was like, "I don't think so."

But, you know, and after a while, I calmed down and everyone at the hospital was very conscious of what I was going through and they were trying to do their best for me.

But, you know, sometimes your mind gets working.

I couldn't stop it, you know?

Once I got here to Gaylord, they were allowing one visitor, one hour a day.

- Now, you've been with your wife since high school, you're high school sweethearts.

And I'm sure over all these decades, you've been through a lot.

What did this do to your marriage?

How did it change your relationship to your wife?

- Well, you know, you always care for the person that you're with, but usually it's sorta just, you know, every day, food on the table, we'd go vacation together, you know, but now it was like, I was 100% dependent on her, you know what I mean?

And taking care of everything in our household, my other family members, everything was on her.

So it definitely strengthened us, but, you know, there was some days we just both wanted to cry our eyes out too, 'cause it was so strenuous.

But in the end, it turned out to be a positive, as did so many things from my journey through GBS, the worst things turned into the best.

- We're here with Greg's wife, Sharon.

And we're gonna talk about what this was like for her.

Sharon, welcome.

Thanks for talking with me.

- Thank you for having us.

- Yeah.

When you were able to visit him, and you were the one visitor, what were those moments like?

- It was very nerve wracking, because I didn't really know what he looked like.

You know, on the picture, you know, I could tell that his eyes were drooping and his mouth was funny, and I walked in and the emotions were incredible.

Sorry.

But as the days went on, you know, we did more Zoom meetings.

So Thanksgiving was a Zoom meeting.

- Because I'd been so isolated, it was great just to...

I would take anything, it was better than what I had when you had nothing.

You know?

But it made me realize some of those other years when I was maybe a little tired or not really feeling in the moment of it, it was like, I'll never feel that way again.

It really means a lot now, you know?

So it was quite good, quite good.

- When his moment came to finally be released back into the world, what was that like for you?

I mean, that must've been a transition in terms of, you know, your beloved is coming back to you, and also your beloved has been a way for you.

And you've been dealing with that and coping yourself in that way.

So, what was it like for you to receive him back home?

- It was very emotional.

So when he walked out with his walker and he wanted me next to him, and, it was amazing.

(laughs) - Yes, it was.

I was at the hospital eight days and I was here 54 days, so it was 62 days I had not been out in the world and touched another person, except my wife and the people that took care of me.

You know what I mean?

So it was just, I couldn't put it into words that day and I don't think I can put it into real words today.

It just meant so much.

It was just like, oh, everything's going to be okay.

I'm going to make it.

- So, talk about that 5K and why you decided to do it.

- They asked me about two months after I left here, if I would do it.

And I wasn't sure at first, 'cause it seemed like I was pushing the envelope, but then I realized that mentally, it would be good for me, sorta to prove to myself that I was getting back in shape, and it really made me mentally much stronger to know, when I got done, it was just like, oh, it's only, like you said, it's been seven months.

How could this even happen in the world?

- [Chion] There is something about that moment, where you can remember it and mark it for the rest of your life and it's so full of meaning.

So when you remember that moment where you crossed that finish line, what did that feel like?

- You know, it was a feeling I don't think I've ever had in my life.

It literally, I collapsed to the ground, because I had nothing left.

You know, it was very emotional.

You know, just realizing what I've been through, what my family had been through.

Just, it still means a lot.

- Were you surprised that they were there for you?

- Yeah, you know what?

No, I don't think I was.

Right immediately, that was one of the great things.

Everybody in my life, my friends, my family, my work, everybody just gathered around me and said, "What do you need?"

- [Chion] I mean, doesn't it make you think, "Wow, I can show up for someone else."?

- Oh, definitely.

I definitely have tried to adopt since then an attitude of giving back more.

Maybe a person only took two or three minutes out of their life, but it made a huge difference for me when I was sitting in my room with nothing to do for 22 hours a day.

I definitely learned to like myself a little better through the whole process.

I was always pretty tough on myself.

And I sorta realized, don't be so tough on yourself, that everybody is carrying a burden and you can carry some burdens too.

You know what I mean?

That's what life's all about.

And it's made me a different person in that area.

That's for sure.

That's for sure.

- When you meet Matthew Torres, it's clear right away that you're meeting someone with focus, drive, ambition.

He's also got a bronze medal.

In between training and going to classes, this Fairfield University student athlete swam his way to a bronze in the Tokyo 2020 Paralympic Games.

And I had a whole lot of questions for him about what that was like.

♪ Instead of drowning in misery ♪ ♪ He started swimming within his dream ♪ ♪ No time for the shame, the guilt and the blame ♪ ♪ He's staying busy ♪ Claiming the bronze at the 2020 Paralympic Games ♪ - What captivated me most about swimming was the intensity of the races.

Michael Phelps dominated in the pool.

It just captivated me, and it made me want to try and do the same thing.

- Michael Phelps was such a big influence on you.

Have you ever met him?

- Back in March of 2019, when he went to Southern Connecticut State University and gave a speech, we spoke for a bit.

I mentioned something about how trials were coming up and that I was looking to go to Tokyo, and he wished me the best of luck.

And I think that was a really special moment for me, getting to meet my idol.

- You got yourself all the way to Tokyo for your first Paralympic Games, representing Team USA.

When you learned you were gonna make it to Tokyo to compete, how did that feel?

- I think I knew for a while that I would make the team, I was pretty confident in myself.

I was looking at the rankings, I saw how I was comparing to everyone else and I was pretty confident in how I was doing.

So, when it came time for the team selection, I was just waiting for my name to be called at that point.

It wasn't a matter of if, it was just waiting for when.

I was in a hotel room with my parents and we celebrated and we hugged, and cried a few tears of joy, 'cause it was a special moment in which something that I worked for for so long finally became a reality.

- Now, as you were getting ready to go to Tokyo, you had to have been training like crazy.

Will you talk me through what training was like and how training was different than the usual, just getting better?

- So, in the year leading up to Tokyo, I actually trained out at the Olympic and Paralympic Training Center in Colorado Springs.

So, I had long course training and altitude training going on.

It was pretty much standard training except for the fact that there was a little bit more focus and with my specialty events, the 100 backstroke and the 400 freestyle.

So there would be like a lot of pace work that we would do, a lot of repetition and maintaining that consistency to be ready to go.

With these kinds of races, if you're not prepared, you can easily just lose control and start panicking mid race, and that can end it.

- Have you ever freaked out in the pool?

- Yeah, I would definitely say I've panicked in the pool, because I generally do not like to fall behind that badly in a race.

So, if after a certain distance I start noticing that the gap is widening or I'm not catching back up as quickly as I would want to, then yeah, I'll start stressing a little bit and start worrying.

But I think I've done a much better job of controlling that in the last few races, and just trying to stick with my own strategies, stick with my own race and try not letting the emotions get to me mid race.

- Yeah.

I'm glad you said that, because I feel like, you know, it makes me think about Simone Biles, who's, you know, one of the best on the planet, and how she struggled with getting in her own head and everything else outside of her, all the pressure of everything.

And the fact that like this can happen to anyone, this happens to the best.

And it's humanizing, 'cause here you are, your standards are so high and your expectations are so high and there's so much pressure, you know, on your way to the Olympics, at the Olympics, that letting us know that you've been through that before is kind of cool, 'cause it shows that you are a human being.

- Yeah, stuff like this does happen to other people.

Like, sometimes you just need to give yourself a break and step back.

- When you were preparing, you know, we've got COVID on our hands, what were you allowed to bring?

Who was allowed to come with you?

What did you have to leave behind that kinda hurt your heart?

- We couldn't have any spectators, including my parents or any family and friends.

Obviously, my parents have been with me every step of the way, and then suddenly, for the first time, I'm at the biggest stage in the world and they can't be there with me.

But I know they were here at home, they were watching every single race, they were cheering for me from afar.

- When you got to the pool and you were ready to go for the first time and compete in the Paralympics, what was going through your mind?

- So I think I was trying to just analyze it and view it from a perspective that it was just another race, just another competition.

- When you saw that you won the bronze for the 400 meter freestyle, what was that moment like for you?

- The initial reaction was more a mixture of shock and disappointment, because I had gone into finals being the number one seed, and that I was ready to absolutely let it go in finals and win the whole thing.

But at the end of the day, like, I gave it my best shot.

I left it all in the pool.

I probably couldn't have exerted more energy into that race, even if I wanted to.

After some time like getting ready for the medal ceremony and like the rest of the day, I started to accept like the fact that I had given it my best shot and that I should still be proud of myself regardless, just to use it as motivation for next year, it was World Championships, because I was proud of myself for what I accomplished.

But at the same time, I knew I wanted more.

- Say hi here.

Hi.

- Hey, I was just- - [Chion] Hi!

- I was just doing your entry.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah, making me go find your Colorado times.

- We're here with Coach Tony Bruno.

Thank you for talking with me.

- Absolutely.

- You got the honor and joy of working with Matt Torres.

When you started working with him, what made him different as a human being, as a swimmer, than anybody else that you worked with?

- I mean, I think any athlete at his level, similar traits, right?

Like, he's highly motivated, wants to be good.

Very curious, he's always asking questions, which is good.

- When you found out that he was gonna be going to Tokyo, what was that like for you?

- I found out he was going to Tokyo, I wasn't totally shocked, 'cause he was on that trajectory.

So, as a freshman here, he got to another level, did really, really well.

And we were on a great trajectory, pandemic, a lot of uncertainty.

So we had quite a few conversations about what made the most sense.

And you know, he ended up going with the resident team out to Colorado, and the resident team did a phenomenal job with him.

So, it was good.

If you talked to him two years ago to when you talk to him today, it's still Matt, but I think it's a more focused Matt, a more driven Matt.

I think it's great that, you know, he can come back and I can give him a little bit of a hard time, like, ah, bronze, like, all right, you know, in three years, it's gonna be gold.

Like, it's gotta be gold.

You know, that's why we wake up at 6:00 AM and go to the weight room and do all that stuff.

And even the weight coaches will tell you, like our weight coach would tell you, like, you know, the same thing, like, no excuses, right?

Like, there's obvious modifications he has to make.

It's never like a, oh, hey, change this.

You know, it's like, hey, what do I gotta do to do this?

You know?

And again, that's why he's going this way.

- So, here we are on campus.

Your home, sweet home.

(Matt laughs) How did it feel when you got back, and people are like, "Matt Torres!"?

- It would feel pretty awesome.

It was just kind of cool knowing that, oh, people actually paid attention and watched, knowing how the Paralympics got extra media attention this year.

And it was like the most broadcast and televised this year.

So, it was nice knowing that it got some good attention even in like the college community.

So, I'm pretty happy about that.

- So, in terms of Fairfield University, what about the idea of Matthew Torres Swimming Arena?

(Matt laughs) - That would be pretty awesome.

- When you meet Craig Wright, one of the first things you'll notice is a smile, his sense of pride and his drive to make a difference.

He's the owner and chef of Craig's Kitchen, a Soul Food restaurant located just across the street from the courthouse he was convicted in so many times in his youth.

And now he's making a difference in his community, giving back to those who helped him in his time of need.

♪ Got out of prison and built a kitchen ♪ ♪ Now a chef that cooks across the street ♪ ♪ From the court that convicted him as a crook ♪ ♪ He even runs food drives ♪ For those who need an opportunity ♪ ♪ 'Cause everybody got to eat in our community.

♪ - I'm originally from Detroit.

I was born in 1987, youngest of four boys to a single mother.

I ended up moving to Connecticut.

Well, when my mother unfortunately passed away when I was 14.

Early on, I didn't take advantage of that situation.

I kinda made the wrong decisions.

I was in and out of prison for basically the age of 18, all the way to the age of 25.

First time, I got a few months, second time, got a few more months than that, third time, got like a year.

And then the last time, after going back and forth to that courthouse so many times, they were like, "There's no more slaps on the wrist."

And they sentenced me to three and a half years.

And when I got that sentence, sitting in behind bars for that long, that's when I really made the decision, like, mentally, that I had to change my life.

- You've said before in other interviews that there were things at that point in time you realized weren't important and things that were, what were the things that were important to you as you were beginning to look at life after prison?

- Like, I was sick of being in and out of prison.

I was sick of letting my family down.

More than anything, I was sick of letting myself down, 'cause I knew inside that I was better than that.

And wasted a lot of time.

- I have friends who have felonies on their records and I know, I can see how hard it was for them to try to find employment and start this new life after prison.

And I wonder, how did having a felony on your record make it more difficult and how did you figure out how to navigate your way forward?

- Well, it made it difficult in a sense that my options were limited, but I still had options.

So I had to focus on those options.

So, that was that right there.

I understood that it would be very easy for me to get into kitchens and get a kitchen job, because they are normally very forgiving of felons.

But at the same time, being a felon caps you.

I can only rise so high.

They would never put me in a real important position, because of my felony.

So, I understood that like very quickly.

So, I felt that my only option from there was, I have to open my own business.

But it's not so easy to open a business.

(laughs) You know?

And not everyone opens businesses because it's not so easy.

So, all I did was cook.

At one point, I had four different jobs, all cooking, like just trying to get as much experience as I could from different places.

- So we're sitting in Rockville, Connecticut, literally across the street from the courthouse where you spent a lot of time, a long time ago.

Will you talk about, how it was that this location happened, of all the locations you could have been in, why this one, how this one?

- I'm from this town, like I live in this town.

So, it was brought to my attention that the owners of this restaurant, that they were selling.

The day I found out that they were selling, I came to the restaurant.

I had like no business plan, no nothing.

All I had was a copy of a menu of the stuff that I wanted to make.

That's all I came with.

Their asking price was like 30 grand or something around there.

And I came right in here and I showed the owner like my menu, and I explained to him my situation.

So I told him, "Well, hey, I don't have the money right now, "but I'm hoping maybe we could work something out."

We had a good conversation.

And the day after that, he called me and said that he liked me and he wanted to make a deal with me.

- This is Soul Food.

Well, how do you define Soul Food?

- So, Soul Food is Southern inspired cooking by African-Americans.

That's Soul Food, period.

- So, of all the foods for you to be cooking and focusing this restaurant on, why did you choose Soul Food?

What is it about it?

- Oh, well, I picked Soul Food, definitely because it's what I had experienced growing up.

It's what I know how to make, it's what my mother taught me how to make.

And just even in Connecticut, there is a lack of Soul Food restaurants, and I wanted to fill that void.

- You have a history of reaching out to your community.

A couple of years ago, you started on Thanksgiving, making sure that people were invited into this restaurant for free Thanksgiving meals.

That started in 2018 and it- - That started in 2018.

- This place was robbed.

And that's what started it, right?

- Yep.

- What happened?

- Well, somebody just came and kicked my back door in, and came and stole my cash register.

And I put that out on social media and the community responded really strongly to that, "Because Craig's got robbed, we're gonna come support him "so he can get a security system and be okay, "because he took a loss during the robbery."

And I'm getting all choked up, like they didn't, like - I went through - it's amazing how complete strangers will go out of their way for you.

That happened and it was so inspiring.

I wanted to give back and I didn't really know how, but then Thanksgiving came around.

It was nothing better that I could do for my community than to make a Thanksgiving dinner and give it out for free, because that's what I do professionally, right?

That's the best thing I do, I cook.

Like, that's a great idea, so why not do it?

So, we did it that first year, everything else was donated from the community and it was so awesome.

And it left such a great impression to me and the community that we did it the next year and we did it the year after that.

And now this will be the fourth year that we've done it.

- Overall, when you wake up in the morning and you feel that spark, that Craig spark, what is it that makes you keep that spark going?

- What makes me keep going?

I don't want to go backward, I want to continue to move forward.

I guess, I've been homeless, I've been in prison, I've been without, and I know how that feels and I never want that feeling again.

Like, I don't.

I'm very proud of myself.

I know I came a long way, and I have a lot of life ahead of me.

There's a lot more to do.

Hopefully, I'll have a family.

And then when that comes, there, that's the goal right there.

And that's all that matters.

I just want to be the best I can for me and the people I love.

- How does it feel to look across the street and see that courthouse from your small business?

- I've been here going on five years and it's still crazy every time I look at it.

It's like, 'cause I've spent...

I've been in that courthouse, I'll definitely say dozens of times, maybe a 100.

(laughs) And to have a business running for years across the street from that place, it's crazy.

It's still to this day, I never get over that.

- There's people going to that courthouse right now who maybe feel as lost as you felt, and didn't quite see what their future could be.

So, considering your viewpoint, literally and figuratively, what would you say to somebody in there?

- One thing that I did do, is I stopped blaming other people for my decisions.

And you have to stand up and you have to make the correct decisions for you, but you have to constantly make those decisions.

Like, every minute you have to make the right decision.

Every second you have to make the right decision, every hour, every day, every week, you got to keep that going and build a foundation, because it's easy to make the wrong decision.

It's easy to go back to prison, but that's all on you.

It's your decision.

You have to make the right decisions.

- When you think about your mom, what do you think she'd think about what you've done, what you've accomplished?

- Not all young men make it, not all young men own businesses, especially African-American like, she'd be super proud of me.

Just the fact that I'm alive and the fact that I'm able to take care of myself.

She'd definitely be super proud of me.

- What were you doing at 11 years old?

I know I was just five years away from coming out to my friends and family as a person on the LGBTQIA plus spectrum.

And I certainly wasn't arranging the first ever pride parade and celebration in my town, unlike Isabella Miller.

This 11 year old was the brains and brawn behind Ellington's first pride parade, which was celebrated this past June.

She and I met back where it all went down, in Ellington's, Arbor park.

So this past summer, this park was a very special place.

What happened here?

- I held my pride event here.

- So, this was a pride parade, celebrating the LGBTQIA plus spectrum.

Why of all things did you want to do a pride parade?

- I wanted to do something different and something that honored the LGBTQ plus - LGBTQIA plus community.

- Hey, I'm in this community, and it can be hard to say, and the letters keep getting added on, which is how we know that we're making progress.

So, now when you were coming up with the idea for this, who did you talk to?

What did you tell them, in terms of the people immediately surrounding you who'd be helping you with this?

- My friends and my mom.

I told my mom that I was interested in doing it for my Silver Award, and she agreed with it and she's my biggest cheerleader.

So she always cheers me on.

And my friends were like, "Oh, this sounds like a good idea.

"If you ever want support, we'll be here "and we can always give you suggestions if you need them."

- Now, tell me about this Silver Award.

- It's a Girl Scout award, where you have to do 50 hours of working on a project.

And after everything's done, you get a little pin.

It's like this big, but it's like, you put it on your vest or your sash.

- On the day that it happened, when you were able to like take a moment and absorb who was here, why all the colors and the sounds and the voices, how did it feel just taking that all in?

- I was so happy and I was like really proud too.

It felt really nice.

- So, this is the brochure for the parade.

And it has so many resources in here, which is really, really great.

Like, who can you follow on social media or sending really good messages, books people can read, how you can be a better ally.

When you were putting this together, what kind of responses were you getting from the community overall here in Ellington?

- Really positive stuff.

Everyone was really happy and super excited.

- Did you get any pushback?

- No.

- I grew up in the '80s and '90s, and I think that this wasn't happening in small towns.

And so, it brings me such joy to know that there really wasn't much pushback.

So, you know a couple of people who are on the LGBTQIA plus spectrum, what did it mean to them for you to do this?

- I have two friends I'm super close with, but they also talked about how sometimes school was tougher because of that.

And I wanted to make them feel comfortable, and I always talk to them if they needed support too.

So that was a big thing too.

♪ Organized her town's first pride parade ♪ ♪ And earned the Girl Scout Silver ♪ ♪ Giving us a way to grow better instead of bitter ♪ ♪ 'Cause children are our future ♪ ♪ And we glad that she's here with us ♪ I was actually closeted to my parents before then.

And I was doing it for the community, but also part of it was trying to do something for myself that was very subtly hinting it at my parents, and they did not get it.

- They didn't pick up on it?

- No.

- When did they pick up?

Not right now, this second, right?

- No.

I told them July 1st, the first day after Pride Month.

- Whoa, how did they respond?

- They were very supportive.

- Did that surprise you?

- No.

- How did life feel different after you came out?

- I felt like a lot happier, like I wasn't hiding something from them constantly.

- When Bella started thinking about doing this and she came to you and told you, what'd you think?

- I was so proud of her.

I know that it was important for this spectrum, for her to represent them.

And it was important to her.

She wanted to make a difference, and it was perfect timing.

It was right by Pride Month.

And so, I said, "All right, you think you can do it?

"You think you can get it done?"

And every day after school, she would come home and she would work on it.

And we sat and we emailed people, and we went through everything to figure out what she needed to do.

- So, on the day of the event, when you were here seeing your daughter in front of this crowd of people on this beautiful day, what was that like for you as her mom?

- Welcome to the first Ellington Pride Event.

- Awesome.

Just to see the people inspired to come up and speak after she spoke and introduced herself to everyone.

And just to see everyone come out, we never imagined that there would be so many people.

You could tell, everybody felt proud to be there, felt like they were having a good time.

Everybody was at all the booths that were here and playing games and doing activities.

And I was so proud of her.

- Bella, when you came out to your parents, what'd you come out as?

- Bisexual.

I came out to my mom first by giving her the note.

- Now, feel free to not answer this, but what was in the note?

What did you write?

How did you put it?

- "Dear mom and dad, "I have decided to come out to you, "but I'm too nervous to say this out to you out loud.

"So, I am bisexual.

"Just want to let you know.

"Love you.

"Bella."

- [Chion] And when you read that note, what'd you think?

What'd you feel?

- I think I went to you and gave you a hug, and I said, "It's awesome.

"It's great."

I tried to support her as much as I can all along the way.

And we have a lot of love in our house, right?

For everyone and... - Were you surprised?

- I don't think so.

I think I was kind of just waiting for her to tell me in her own time, so.

- When I came out to my mom, my mom's gonna love that I keep waving her into this conversation, by the way.

And she'll be a part of your story too, as you keep telling it.

Not only was she sad that I didn't tell her sooner, but she was also really worried about the kind of world I'd be living in.

Did you have any fears?

- So I think about that a lot.

I think especially being in middle school and seeing how cruel kids can be.

- Regardless of anything about you, yeah.

- Right.

But I think she has found a really good core group of besties who love each other, no matter what they tell each other.

I feel pretty good about your whole group.

There's a lot of support there, a lot of love and a lot of acceptance.

- What advice do you have for parents whose kids are just now coming out to them and they're maybe feeling a little lost or not sure what the best way is to handle it?

- I think your child is your child, no matter what, right?

It just gives you a different dimension and nothing else different, right?

Parents should support their kids no matter what.

- When I say flow artist, what do you picture?

When I say troubadour, who do you picture?

Not sure?

Well then, meet Lael Marie Saez, also known as Royael, Hartford's first flow artist.

And Khaiim Kelly, AKA, Rapoet, AKA, Self Suffice, Hartford's first troubadour.

They not only sat down and talked me through their process, they performed live for me to experience their craft.

♪ Yeah, it's the new day ♪ We might save the planet before it's too late ♪ ♪ To take life for granted, it ain't what we planned ♪ ♪ But it's a new day to hold what you can in a new way ♪ ♪ And do what you can in the new way ♪ ♪ And do what you can in the new way ♪ ♪ Now, it ain't what we planned but it's a new day ♪ ♪ To do what you can in a new way ♪ - No, that was my (indistinct) - I'm here with Khaiim Kelly, AKA, Self Suffice, he's Hartford's troubadour.

And Lael Marie Saez, AKA, Royael, Hartford's flow artist.

Welcome.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- And we are here with Chion Wolf.

- [Lael] Yes, we are.

- Hartford, and the world's most amazing interviewer.

- Thank you.

Welcome to me.

Thank you.

(Lael and Khaiim laugh) The responsibilities of Troubadour shall include, but are not limited to public performances, public event appearances, and composition and publishing of songs about the city.

The Troubadour shall serve as an ambassador of music and song, foster public appreciation of and participation in song, shall work with the Hartford Public Library and local schools to promote creative learning and cultural literacy among Hartford citizens, and shall endeavor to instill pride in the community.

Which of those things makes your heart race the most?

- Just the fact that you've read that, because no one told me what a troubadour is until this moment.

(all laugh) I'm the first ever troubadour, so now I can read that when someone asks me what a troubadour is.

It's just that there's a list of things, and I'm a person who does, these are just things that are necessary.

I've been rapping for a long time, I've been lecturing for a long time, and you know, like I wouldn't be a rapper or a lecturer, if it wasn't involving all those things.

The only reason I've been doing this for over a decade, the only reason I'm doing this, is because I found out that people listen to information better.

I did at least.

If it's entertaining or interesting, or you can connect it to them, right?

So that's what I've been doing.

I've been mixing lectures with raps, with connecting different genres of people and everything.

And when people say, "What do you do?"

There's no word for that.

But now I finally have one, troubadour.

So, it's really, I guess what will make my heart race the most, is that concept of, realistically I have a mission.

Like, I want to learn valuable information and I want other people to be able to get it.

And just 'cause you learn it, it doesn't mean other people get it.

And just because one person gets it, it doesn't mean a whole bunch of other people will get it.

So it really takes all of those things you just mentioned and more, and a little bit of support from the community and understanding and finding opportunities where you least expect them.

So all of those things, I finally have a word for it, which is a Hartford Troubadour.

- Royael.

The responsibilities of the flow artist shall include, but are not limited to, engaging residents through movement slash flow workshops and/or performances, public event appearances and submitting documentation of a performance or community led project each year.

The flow artists for the City of Hartford shall promote awareness and appreciation of expression through movement.

They shall work with Hartford public schools to engage students in creative, physical expression and shall endeavor to instill pride in the community.

Which of those makes your heart race?

- I think the last one you said, "Instilling pride in the community.".

That really resonates with me in the whole flow artist's position, because my community is Hartford.

I'm a native, I'm homegrown, as I say.

So, that's really important for me, for Hartford to really feel heard, to see themselves.

And I represent Hartford, so to see themselves in forefront and to have a chance to have their voice at the table.

So, pride in the community is what resonates really well with me.

- Royael, I've heard you talk about how highlighting yourself is also a means to highlight other people in your community.

What do you mean by that?

- Well, again, 'cause I am homegrown, that comes from the community.

So, when I think of community, I have my elders and I have people in the community, that could be the person at the bus stop, it could be the teacher in the classroom, it could have been the person from Our Piece of the Pie or YO-Hartford, which I was a part of, you know, all these afterschool programs.

So, that is my community.

And everybody who I am engaging with on a regular basis is also passing a little bit of energy or a little bit of themselves to me.

And I get to bring that in and explode it out when I perform, so that everybody kind of sees themselves when they see me.

- I'd like to hear from the both of you, what it means to be the first of each of these positions?

Khaiim, what does this mean to you?

What does it feel like?

- It's a tongue and cheek, it's kinda like Columbus, which I'm so glad, now they're doing like Indigenous Peoples' Day and everything.

Like, regardless of what your politics, you understand that the way first and discovery get used in America, is always inaccurate.

So, in what way are we the first?

And I think we share that, we definitely share that, where it's like, I'm the first to have this title or be considered or recognized in this way.

That's an honor, because people ain't doing what we've, including ourselves.

The reason we got this, is 'cause people recognize we've been doing this stuff for years, right?

And so, giving them the title.

But one thing is to pay homage to those before and say, "Wow, imagine all those people who did this, "why did they do this when there was no title?

"And can we keep that same energy and motivation "now that we do have a title?"

And then the second part is, and this might just be for me, but the second part is it goes, "Oh, now I'm starting."

Like, from here, there's a kid watching or somebody in a different country or wherever they are, that's gonna see someone has this title.

So now I'm starting to like show them what it is.

It's not a joke.

It's like someone is watching.

I cannot say, oh, it was just a rap or, oh, I could do whatever I want.

Like, I can do whatever I want the next Hartford Troubadour to be able to refer to.

You know?

And I don't think that's restricting, I think that's an honor.

Like, it starts here in terms of being like, I can do what I would want people to be able to do.

- And I'm interested to see how far we can push those topics.

- I know you are.

(Lael laughs) I know you are.

I've heard some of your ideas already.

You already, like, she already started stretching the definition.

You making it hard for the next... (all laugh) - And you just got started.

I'd like to know what goes through your mind when you're doing the job that you do?

Royale, your instincts when you move along with a piece, are very much...

Your instincts are leading every moment, you know, watching you work, it's clear that your body has this like natural reaction to the sounds, to the mood, to the story you're telling.

And I'm wondering how much of that is just on the spot expression and how much of it is mindful, specific choregraphy?

- Sometimes you can be prepared and have everything ready, but then sometimes it's really nice to flow, as flow artists and to move through it.

And so, that's basically how I go about creating.

Sometimes it's improv and I'm listening to the words and I'm listening to the beat and the sound, and I let that move me.

Or if there's something that the artist may specifically want to happen at that point, then I choreograph it in.

- When I watch you, I feel like, I remember to breathe.

Like, there's something about you that makes me breathe.

And then I watch you, I listen to you and I hold my breath.

(all laugh) I wonder, when you are on the spot, when you're coming up with whatever is coming through you, when you are freestyling, what's going through your mind?

I know that might be the biggest question, but how much are you present with what's coming out of your mouth, and how much are you just letting it out?

- You said the word, presence.

And that's what it really is.

It's presence in everywhere.

It's presence being here, it's presence being gifted, it's presence as a treasure.

It's like, there's a motto in Hartford.

Hartford Has It.

You know what I mean?

It's like, it's actually knowing that it's here.

You disconnect from time, your brain, your altered state of your brain loses track of time when you in the flow state, and you lose track of place and you lose track of ulterior motives.

Like, even if you're getting paid or not, like, you're not thinking about, "If I do it this much, "I'll get this much money or this much."

It's just like absolute presence, connecting, self-fulfilling.

And I don't think we're even thinking about how it's self-fulfilling.

- It's coming, like coming to you.

- When it's coming, it's just there.

- When I think about being in a flow state, I think about being joyful.

That's the best place to be as often as possible in this flow state.

So, would you say that while you do the job, because you've got the job and you've done the job and before you got the job, how much of this work is for your own joy?

- It's a luxury.

It's a luxury.

You know what I mean?

Don't try to get me to do things for free, please.

Like, I'm a professional.

I want everyone who has this job and us to get paid, but it's a luxury to do something that is just healthy, like, music, you know, we're students, she studies some nerdy things, like, this is a answer to a lot of things in life.

I think finding out how to be in a flow and not have a dichotomy between, oh, you enjoy this, so you're a terrible person.

That's not healthy or natural.

We can enjoy things that are good for other people as well.

- I want to ask you both a question as we wrap up.

Khaiim, you Tweeted this when you were being named Hartford's first Troubadour, you said, "When your work is recognized, "do you stop and relax "or do you feel like you've just begun?"

Khaiim.

- Yeah, I remember.

I remember that.

You know, like everything else I say, no surprise, the answer is both, it's complex.

I'm not like this or that person or a shame person.

It's both.

But um, I put that question out there to make people think, a lot of times when we look at a title or people getting a title, we go, "Oh, well that must be easy for them."

Or they could relax.

Or we go, "Well, I want them to do more."

And that was just a question that I wanted the opportunity where people was thinking about me, to have that in their unconscious.

These are the questions you have to ask.

And obviously, I was asking that myself, like, good, I can relax in a lot of ways, you know?

In the short term, it's important just to celebrate, you know?

So on that day, I was just like, yay, I did this.

It was a three-year long process.

A lot of people don't know, like, there was a whole application process, COVID interrupted it, it was multiple emails, submissions.

But of course, like I said, when your work is recognized, meaning, I didn't do these things because of this position.

- Right.

- I was doing this work, and this was a great opportunity to be recognized for the work.

The second part of it, recognizing that your work has just begun.

We touched on that.

You know, like, we are the first in terms of having a title and getting in the newspaper and getting in interviews and having people say like, "This is important to us now.

"We recognize the medicinal benefits of this."

You know what I mean?

- Right.

- I'm just beginning.

And the more someone gives me a title, the more I have to be like, this is my work.

How do I just make it easy for people to know work from where you are, appreciate the gift in this present moment, and I appreciate it.

And I have to show that I'm doing that for myself when it's not easy.

And that I appreciate other people that are doing that, 'cause I know it's not easy.

You do things in spite of obstacles, not because you don't have obstacles.

- Right.

- Well, Royael, Self Suffice, thank you so much for talking with me.

- Thank you.

- Thank you for having us, Chion.

- Yes.

♪ You got community ♪ You, me, we ♪ Some be hating on the differences of you and me ♪ ♪ But it's a lot deeper than what you can see ♪ ♪ Malcolm X took the opportunity ♪ ♪ To speak to you and me on who we truly be ♪ ♪ When you appreciate what's given, you make decisions ♪ ♪ Alleviate the division ♪ And that's how Detroit Red escaped prison ♪ ♪ And gave a whole nation a healthier way of living ♪ ♪ Malcolm was a man of action ♪ By any means reaching that dream ♪ ♪ Can't relax when you stand for what's mattering ♪ ♪ No matter what's happening ♪ With a passion, distractions can't end your path when ♪ ♪ Malcolm made it all the way to Mecca ♪ ♪ With Black, White and Yellow, all praying together ♪ ♪ Eliminating prejudice but some scared to do better ♪ ♪ They shot him but his legacy is forever ♪ ♪ Everybody gotta breathe in our community ♪ ♪ Everybody gotta eat in our community ♪ ♪ If everybody got a equal opportunity ♪ ♪ Instead of beef, you would see a lot of unity ♪ ♪ Never outnumbered, not just doing me ♪ ♪ Yeah, we got each other, you for you, you for me ♪ ♪ Never outnumbered, be about unity ♪ ♪ You, me, we ♪ Some be hating on the differences of you and me ♪ ♪ But it's a lot deeper than what you can see ♪ ♪ Mahatma Gandhi showed you could lead ♪ ♪ A lot of people to see who we truly be ♪ ♪ When you sacrifice living comfortably ♪ ♪ Nobody can tempt me with luxury, you sucka free ♪ ♪ Gandhi showed those who did not believe ♪ ♪ And led a whole nation to be the change we want to see ♪ ♪ 240 miles to the beach ♪ Not riding on a seat ♪ Just walking on his feet, for dat salt ♪ ♪ led thousands to show that our souls ain't cheap ♪ ♪ Not selling out, showing peace isn't weak ♪ ♪ Loving peace was the reason that brother didn't eat ♪ ♪ Slowed down to fast 21 days, 3 weeks ♪ ♪ A civilian had military looking weak ♪ ♪ Hitting millions from further ♪ ♪ than any gun could reach ♪ Everybody gotta breathe in our community ♪ ♪ Everybody gotta eat in our community ♪ ♪ If everybody got a equal opportunity ♪ ♪ Instead of beef, you would see a lot of unity ♪ ♪ Never outnumbered, not just you and me ♪ ♪ Yeah, we got each other, me for you, you for me ♪ ♪ Never outnumbered, be about unity ♪ ♪ You, me, we ♪ Some be hating on the differences of you and me ♪ ♪ But it's a lot deeper than what you can see ♪ ♪ Sylvia Mendez showed you could lead ♪ ♪ A lot of people to see who we truly be ♪ ♪ When you let the youth remain innocent ♪ ♪ They tend to see the truth ♪ And benefit from being different ♪ ♪ Tend to pick friends who's skin is every hue of melanin ♪ ♪ And nationalities from Japanese to Mexican ♪ ♪ Sylvia was one of those kids who liked kids ♪ ♪ And she wanted to play with white kids ♪ ♪ In the same nice schools where whites did ♪ ♪ Despite discrimination ♪ Faced men twice their age hating ♪ ♪ Got a case in the higher courts of United States ♪ ♪ Paving the way for Brown versus the Board of Education ♪ ♪ She made 'em say segregation that harms the nation ♪ ♪ By giving our children horrible expectations ♪ ♪ When I hit that groove, I be grooving ♪ ♪ With the passion of the Civil Rights Movement ♪ ♪ To all the freedom riders, speech reciters ♪ ♪ Who led us to find peace inside us ♪ ♪ When I hit that groove, I be grooving ♪ ♪ With the passion of the Civil Rights Movement ♪ ♪ To all the freedom riders, speech reciters ♪ ♪ Who led us to find peace inside us ♪ ♪ Thought I was alone but your legacy beside us ♪ ♪ Thought I was alone but your memory remind us ♪ ♪ Thought I was alone but your legacy beside us ♪ ♪ Thought I was alone but your memory remind us ♪ ♪ Thought I was alone but your memory remind us ♪ ♪ Thought I was alone but your memory remind us ♪ ♪ Thought I was alone but your legacy beside us ♪ ♪ You, me, we ♪ Honestly, all your activities either expand or contract ♪ ♪ Might as well be proactive ♪ Instead of surprised after the fact ♪ ♪ When you wait for a parliament and react ♪ ♪ You move one step forward, one and a half back ♪ ♪ Used to wait for them to find me ♪ ♪ Could you believe that ♪ Now I'm promoting when I rhyme, everybody see that ♪ ♪ The more I feed y'all ♪ The more y'all give me that feedback ♪ ♪ The old me took a backseat, used to lean back ♪ ♪ Now I'm the leader of the pack ♪ ♪ Used to ask where my team at ♪ Now I tell 'em exactly where to be at ♪ ♪ So save the drama for your mama ♪ ♪ While I'ma keep brushing my own teeth ♪ ♪ Not Donald and not Obama ♪ A lot of people watch reality TV ♪ ♪ If you wanna, I'm on your TV show in reality though ♪ ♪ So me, I gotta keep creating