(parlor piano music) (plastic bag rustling) - [Narrator] This is it, this is it.

Growing up, I never really understood why my dad was the way he was.

He was very quiet.

There was an unintentional disconnect.

It wasn't until I got a little older, I started to ask questions, about his past and his families, so I can try and make some sense of what I can look forward to in my life.

(indistinct video tape chatter) This is my father, Tom.

He grew up in the same town as I did, Cos Cob, Connecticut.

My father had three siblings growing up, Marianne, Ronnie, and Ricky.

They all grew up in a relatively normal American family.

- My family was like always at the dinner table.

We always had to have dinner together, we always liked having dinner together and arguing and yelling and you know, the whole nine yards.

- Come here honey, she's bread boss.

- [Cameraman] Oh, I just went, come here Tommy!

- [Tom] You know, my early life was fun, I enjoyed it.

Right through high school and when I graduated, I got the letter from Uncle Sam at the same time, so I got drafted, I got drafted by Uncle Sam.

- [British Newcaster] Just one American division, with more than 400 helicopters of its own.

Nothing can outrun the- - [Narrator] I always knew that my father was sent off to war, but I didn't know what it really meant growing up.

It was unfamiliar to me, so I decided to ask him some questions.

- [Tom] When I was over, I went with the construction engineers, all right?

I was an engineering battalion.

And what we did, we built bridges.

We cleared landing zones and stuff like that before the infantry came in, you know, we were there before they started and stuff.

And you know, we built huts, we built a lot of stuff.

We did a lot of stuff construction-wise over there.

Haven't gone through these books in 40 years maybe.

Oh my god, look how old they are.

Here I am supporting my mustache, that Tom Selleck look, you know.

(chuckling) - [Narrator] This was one of the things that my father never truly talked about or how he felt about it.

- [Tom] We also, you know, we also had to fight, you know.

Do you know if you ever shot anybody or killed any?

You don't know.

You don't, you just don't know.

You know, you just, you're shooting in the dark.

It's not like you see on TV or with games like they have today, forget it.

(helicopter blades chopping) When I went to Vietnam, I was supposed to be there.

My government sent me there.

They said, "You're going to fight for us, right or wrong."

I'm taking that order, I'm going over there, I'm fighting for the United States, all right?

And while I'm there, I feel as though I'm doing my job that I'm supposed to be doing, right?

Then when I came home, I felt as though, okay, I did my job.

When you're 18, 19 years old, you feel you're invincible.

They didn't bother me and I wasn't worried about it.

When I came home two years later, I felt as though nothing had changed.

Everything changes.

Two years?

Forget it.

Everything changed and it took me a long time to catch up.

- [Narrator] That time period being the 1970s, so my dad went back to what he knew best.

- [Tom] I was a plumber, which was fine, you know, I did that, but that's not really what I wanted.

I wanted to build, which I did.

(soft calm music) All right, today is demolition day.

We're taking down the building that was on the property so that make room to erect the new building.

It's exciting, I love it.

I always enjoyed construction and I can't wait to get to work the next day.

This'll come down in a heartbeat, the building.

- [Narrator] Almost 20 years after the Vietnam war ended, my dad met the love of his life, my mom, Jody.

- I met Tom when I moved from salon to salon, I worked for him and his partner in their hair salon.

- Pain in the (silent).

I fired her five times.

- He probably tried to fire me two or three times, but I wasn't gonna leave.

- She wouldn't go.

She wouldn't leave.

I said, "Get out."

She'd go, "No."

- Not going, not leaving, no.

From there, it was very slow, we started to date, and you know, I had a son and I was very protective and very, you know, I wanted to make sure things were good before that was introduced.

I worked it in very slowly, you know, but he, Tom, took to Brian immediately, it was amazing, which was something that it was very important to me that the person I was with considered Brian his own, and he did, from day one, it was wonderful.

You know, Brian had that figure.

He had that constant, which was very important to me, and they just built a wonderful relationship from there.

He's an amazing father.

- [Narrator] That's where I come into the picture, but I wasn't the only one.

Four years after I was born, so was my brother Nick.

Our childhood was just as normal and fun as his was, even though it was a completely different upbringing.

(soft calm music) - [Tom] You love your children and you watch them grow and you get to the point where they're men, you know, they're actually young men now.

You're a young man, Nicky's a young man, Brian's a young man.

I mean, you guys, you know, all grow up and my father watched us get to that point.

- [Narrator] This is my grandfather, Peter.

Unfortunately, I never got the chance to meet him.

- [DJ] He'll be back with some more tunes for you.

- [Tom] Unfortunately he left us when he was young, you know, he passed away at 67.

You know, I know what he was talking about now, what he feared and what he felt, as he got older and there was more of a showman.

- [Narrator] Even though there were differences in our lives, there was one constant similarity that all three of us shared.

That is our love for music.

- And I'll never forget the Sunday mornings waking up and hearing him play that piano.

He used to wake us up, you know, 10 o'clock or so he'd start hammering away and it was beautiful.

(parlor piano music) (background parlor singing) Though my father never played as much as his father did, he will still sit down and play away, as I did from a young age.

(mellow piano music) I've been told throughout my entire life, when people look at me, they see him, but when I look at myself, I see my dad.

I wanted to do this documentary to honor my father while he was still here.

But not just him, those who were here before me.

- [Tom] I'm rich, I'm a rich guy.

I got you guys, you know, I got your brothers, you, now a little grandson.

- [Narrator] And those who will be here after.

- [Tom] And I think it's evolution.

I think it's tremendous, you know?

Every generation just keeps moving up the ladder.

(parlor piano music) - I think we all- - [Tom] It wasn't about anything but family, which is good, which I hope you guys keep it going.

You and your brothers always keep your families together, because that's what it's all about, that's what it's about.

That's what life is about, your family, Chris, come on over here Chris.

Chris is coming.

(parlor piano music) - [Peter] Hi everybody, how do you do?

♪ Come to see me, come to see me, any time you feel ♪ (indistinct singing and chatter) Here we go.

(parlor piano music) Now it's time for me to say goodbye.

Thank you so much.