Over 34 million Americans— 10% of the population— identify as multiracial.

Despite being one of the fastest growing segments, mixed race youth often feel unseen.

Next on “Our time”... Filmmaker Sierra Buah explores the challenges of being mixed race in a white school.

And then... Marcus Salazar navigates being black and Latino while being raised by his white grandmother.

Multiracial families.

Next on our time.

Why don't people understand me?

I'm tired of running so fast.

I want to be heard.

Why are people afraid?

I'm ready for change.

I hear you.

I see you.

My time... My time... Our time is now.

Major funding for this program is provided by: The Lindsay-Brisbin Family Fund, The Russell Grinnell Memorial Trust, Steve and Mary Ann Waldorf, Betsy and Warren Dean, And the H. Chase Stone Charitable Trust.

Additional funding is provided by: Diverses Health, Arts in Society, Think 360 Arts for Learning.

The Joseph Henry Edmondson Foundation, the Bee Vradenburg Foundation, and the CALM Foundation.

[piano] When I was growing up, I was very innocent I think in middle school I was like slowly becoming like more conscious of it.

It█s definitely an awakening.

I never really voiced how, like, lonely I was.

By making this film, I finally said it out loud, ♪ ♪ When I am dancing, I can just be anyone and anything I want to be.

I'm African and I'm American, but like, I'm not African American.

My high school is on the Air Force Academy.

It's like very white and very conservative There's like over a thousand students and yet I could only count like five people who looked like me.

And I think because of, like where I lived and stuff and like growing up in a very white place, I kind of felt like I connected more with my white side.

MOM: You always loved dancing.

I will give your dad a lot of credit becaused he danced with you when you were a baby.

And you brought so much joy to our family.

And that█s why I█ve been really concerned about you the past few years is because I see that joy... being like... Guarded behind a wall.

I'm always thinking about like what it would be like if I lived in a different place or like had I grown up in like a different area with more diversity and stuff.

In Ghanaian culture, it's more of an extended family system.

You take care of everybody.

Everybody take care of each other.

it protects their family, bring unity.

That's something I wanted.

You know, to pass it on.

Hopefully.

We'll see.

DAD: We█ll see?

GRANDMOTHER: I could tell he really loved her.

And, when she said that they wanted to get married, I thought that was a good idea.

SIERRA: Yeah.

I didn't think it'd be easy.

SIERRA: Yeah.

Having grown up in the South, I knew that... It might not be easy for you guys.

SIERRA: Mhmm.

GRANDMOTHER: I worry about you three.

SIERRA: Mhmm.

GRANDMOTHER: More than I worry about the others.

SIERRA: What are some of the things, like... Worry you about us And like not the other grandkids that you have?

Yeah I'm afraid you— you can be hurt.

SIERRA: Yeah.

I know how cruel people can be.

And I don't want that to happen... To you.

I grew up in, they call it the Jim Crow era.

SIERRA: Mhmm.

GRANDMOTHER: Schools were completely segregated.

SIERRA: Mhmm.

GRANDMOTHER: The city was segregated.

There were black areas in white areas.

You know the reason we moved to Colorado was I did not want to raise my children in Alabama.

- Yeah.

- That█s where we were.

Because I thought... Even as much as I believed equality, that my children would pick some up from the culture prejudice from the culture.

So I'm so glad when we moved to Colorado.

But I was also naive.

SIERRA: Mhmm.

GRANDMOTHER: We moved to Arvada and I took your Aunt Kim to first grade and walked in the room and it was all blond heads.

I couldn't believe it.

I was very disappointed, I wanted it to be more diverse.

Yeah.

MOM: you clearly knew that you had a darker skin than the people in your preschool class.

By the time you were three.

Because—I don't know if you remember—you came home with a picture of Taylor Swift and you said, “Mom, I want this hair, this skin tone, this eye color.” And I had to tell you, like, it doesn't work like that.

And so when you were starting kindergarten, your dad and I sat down and talked and said, okay, we have a choice of this school that's less diverse, but better by test scores or this school over here that is more diverse but has lower test scores for the students.

And your dad's perspective was, let's send her to the very best school that we can.

SIERRA: Most of my friends are white and like,I have like one Asian friend MOM: Do you think that your awareness of race started to become heightened?

SIERRA: I know, growing up I█ve always like had a facination with history.

Specifically like the Civil War, I guess.

And like I kind of realized black people aren't treated the best.

Say his name!

CROWD: George Floyd!

REPORTER: Our top story tonight: National unrest hitting home this weekend in Colorado Springs Video out of Minneapolis showing 46-year-old George Floyd pinned down to the ground... [mix of chanting voices and cars honking] [crowd chanting: “We█ve got your back”] SIERRA: I didn█t know there was like a system that prevented people from, like... achieving certain things and like Getting good things and like having good resources and stuff, so... MOM: You're growing up as... a biracial person, but often percieved as African American.

- Mhmm.

- You are part of this larger group who has faced systemic exclusion, discrimination... GRANDMOTHER: Do you think you would have felt, happier maybe being in a more diverse school and more diverse culture?

SIERRA: Hmm... I think I find it hard to imagine if I was in a different setting it would be like... Oh God.

Yeah.

SIERRA: But yeah, I guess it would be different... Different friendships with people and different relationships with other people.

So probably less lonely too, so... ♪ I do... Have the weird tendancy to count... how many black people are like, in a room.

Or in a space, and... At the moment... We█re still in the single digits, so... Yeah.

Yeah, I think in so many ways we█re in this pocket.

But there are so many other parts of the world.

I mean, when we went to Ghana, right?

Do you remember?

Melody said, like... “Well this is really interesting.” “There█s a whole country being run by black people” “And it█s working just fine.” ♪ DAD: As soon as I touched down in Ghana, I don't feel that I'm a black man, SIERRA: Mhmm.

DAD: I█m just... I█m at home.

SIERRA: Mhmm.

Here is different.

I've had great experience over here.

But at the same time, like, honestly, deep inside, you know, that, you█re not from here, I know that I'm not from here.

I'm a citizen.

But I still know I'm not from here Because people ask me, “you have an accent” Where you're from?

Yeah.

- But at the same time I have to make friends.

I have to, you know, do my work.

Try to be a good person.

And, people will see you for who you are.

Yeah.

But, I'm very protective SIERRA: Yeah.

DAD: That nobody treats you wrong... because of who you are.

♪ MOM: For you, you█re trying to work out... What it means to belong.

SIERRA: Yeah.

MOM: Who gets to belong?

SIERRA: Mhmm.

I don█t know, I feel like a lot of the friendship that I had with people for awhile were, like, very surface-level, like... We never had, like, any deep conversations and I think I just wanted to... talk to people about really deep things, and... I just think I█m really bold for someone my age.

And, like... I█ll call people out and all that stuff.

But people my age don█t typically do that, I think, And I think that I can be a lot for people.

I don█t know... I guess I█m, like, not the... sterotypical black person that a lot of people think of.

Yeah.

- But I█m also, like... not the stereotypical white person either.

Yeah.

[high school students chatter] TOM: I think it█s going to take longer to feed than these lines.

- You can make it like a zombie.

[overlapping voices] SIERRA: Do you remember when we first met?

Yes.

- Way back in sophomore year, I guess.

I do.

I knew you spoke a lot more than you let on.

I knew you had a lot of ideas.

Stillwater's run deep.

I enjoy interacting with you guys, seeing you guys develop, My style, has drawn a certain type of person that comes in through these doors.

The quirky kid, quote unquote, or the, neurodivergent kids, LGBTQ kids, minority kids.

Just kids that don't fit the mold.

I played on the football team with all the other black kids.

But I also watch Dragon Ball Z with my white friends.

You know, I was too white for black people as black for white people.

SIERRA: Mhmm.

So for me, I just hung out— I just created my own friend group out of who I wanted to be friends with.

I guess as someone who's like in a very white school I think there came a point where I just didn't care anymore.

I was like, oh, right.

I'm going to do my thing.

And if anyone has a problem with it, then like, I guess that's on them.

But— - Perfect.

Yeah.

Never let someone else tell your story.

And never be a side character in your story.

♪ I guess I'll just have to learn more about what it means to be like a bridge builder and how to build bridges and how to reach other people.

I think it would be cool to see, like what I could do for the world and like, how I could change it ♪ The Youth Documentary Academy empowers young filmmakers to identify and craft their own stories through intensive training and mentorship in the art of documentary film.

I realized that my family wasn't typical right away.

I mean, there were kids in my classes that lived with their grandparents, but never like “Your grandma was fighting for custody of you” “over your father and your mother.” My grandmother and her two sons are raising me.

I guess I've always just kind of known it wasn't it wasn't typical.

WENDY: This is me, I think I was about... two years old.

I don't know if I was playing on the phone or talking on the phone, but that was a phone.

See the rotary dial?

MARCUS: Right, okay.

[laughing] Oh, there's you and me.

You were a baby.

- Oh!

- That was the first time you ever sat on a little horsey.

Yeah.

I don't look that impressed by it.

- Yeah, you weren█t... You weren█t thrilled.

That's your dad, your grandmother, Rosie.

And you.

When you were little.

That was around the time that we were fighting over custody of you.

Yeah, I remember.

Trust me, I remember.

- That is your mommy.

- Yeah.

- Oh, isn't she pretty?

She was so pretty.

Yeah, sure.

- That was really hard on you every time she left, huh?

I think if I had stayed with my parents, that would have been hell.

It would have been terrible.

My parents weren█t ready for a kid.

- He left you when you were two months old and he left your mom.

And then your mom has her issues.

We'll just say that.

My mom has always just been a floater.

My grandma and my uncles have had their whole lives to kind of come to an understanding about the way she is.

But I... I was just kind of forced to deal with it.

I remember it was like a big holiday I was opening my presents and she got up and like, left.

I still don't fully know why.

I always had an understanding that my mom was never going to be there for long.

I just remember, telling her over and over again, like, “I don't want you to leave.” Like you're going to leave.

I don't want you to go.

The last time I'd seen my mom... was the day after my 13th birthday because she ended up moving again.

And my dad had came out to see me.

This is also the last time I ever saw my dad.

[thunder rumble and rain] WENDY: I think the most giving thing she ever did was when she went to court and said that you needed to be with me because you had bonded with me.

I think that was her way of showing her love for you.

I want you to understand: your mom has always loved you, but she has always loved you in The only way she knows how to love.

Which is not in the way you know... Necessarily a healthy way.

Um, but I think she's always loved you.

[rain intensifies] So my mom put you in an airplane and brought you out to me and basically you've been with me ever since.

My grandma and I moved out to the Springs from Leadville so she could work out here.

And then all of a sudden my uncles right here.

Like, they... I just remember they just showed up one day and I was like, oh, cool.

My uncles are living with us now, too.

Grandma was like my main parent.

And then I had like two dads that were also my uncles, but are also like dads, you know.

Right, right.

And I'm the oldest of three.

Um, me and my brother are two years apart.

We were born on the same day.

We're all Leos.

My dad's middle name is Lee.

It is weird.

Everybody in my family's a Leo.

And I think you guys played good-cop, bad-cop a lot with me - I try to be the fun guy.

- Right.

We took you to parks, taught you to ride a bike, helped you learn to drive.

Helped you with homework.

Taught you how to play video games.

- Yes.

- Yeah.

We went and did everything together, we went to movies, we went hiking.

I took off from work on your birthday one year, and we went and saw the Princess and the Frog.

It was a lot of movement up until like third grade when we... we moved out of apartments and finally started living somewhere a little bit more stable.

GIRL: Hi!

MARCUS: Yeah!

[Marcus singing] MARCUS: I think a lot and with just the way my family is structured... I have to kind of just take everything that's going on around me at face value, still have those, like, lingering thoughts of like, what's going on?

Exactly.

thinking about, like, my grandma raising me, it's like this is not how everybody else is doing it.

Why is this how we're doing it?

nobody wants to be raising an 18 year old at 64.

You know, One complicated thing about the household I live in, is a lack of understanding, you know, in a way, At the end of the day, there is that generational gap.

Like, she really just doesn't understand in a lot of ways.

And I don't blame her.

She, like, literally has no frame of reference.

She's got me to tell her what's what I'm thinking.

she can acknowledge that her kids are black, half black, half white, though.

They're half white.

Yeah, I know I am white at the end of the day, but I walk down the street, and I'm not.

And she's just a white lady.

She's my white lady.

But like, she is just a white lady, you know?

So we both know that grandma had like a pretty rough childhood, pretty rough growing up.

And I'm wondering if you think that, like, has impacted the way she's gone about the way she goes about life.

You know, so what I will tell you is I've never asked her what's gone on and she's never told, okay.

- So I know that she has things in her past she doesn't want to share.

I don't ask her.

I tried not to bring my trauma into my kids lives.

And I know if you ask them, they'll probably not be able to tell you a ton about my childhood because I didn't want them to know how painful my life was.

Do you think conversations like these are important to have?

- Absolutely.

Or I wouldn't be here right now because it's not always comfortable.

And to be honest with you, this is not a comfortable conversation for me.

But I think it's important for you.

[foreboding music] Mom's been married four times and her second husband is the hardest person to talk about.

He liked to threaten, humiliate, and sexually assault myself and my sister.

And it started when I was nine.

And it ended when I was 15.

MARCUS: I think we both had like a complicated start.

Everything was so urgent for her.

Everything felt like it was coming up so fast, and she really needed to react.

And she did.

She she she got out of it.

I left California when I was 17.

I turned 18 and basic training.

I went and stayed with my grandmother in Texas for like a couple of months I had no direction.

You know, it was like the the little hippie girl that was always out partying and stuff.

And tried to go in the Marine Corps and I was too short.

I was going to be an MP.

It's really interesting being at two different spots in our journeys, the generational trauma, you know, like I'm starting to really see how it affects me as I get older.

And then like, you kind of had some time to think about it.

[laughing] It's kind of... It's taken me a long time to be able to face, you know, the traumas that I've had.

I've always run away from it.

it's almost like I can finally breathe.

Don't hold your breath.

[laughing] MARCUS: Family to me has always just been like... The people that I choose to surround myself with.

The people who choose to be there and show up in the ways that you need them to.

I love my family.

I love my grandma.

I love my uncles.

Oh my god.

I love those guys.

They're awesome.

It is like a real bond that I feel with them, as opposed to a lot of the other people in my family.

One of the things I really love about my family is our ability to help each other, If you get a phone call, you show up.

And we all succeed together.

Now that I'm in a crying mood, I█m like oh my god, My grandma!

Of course my grandma.

Like, she's just like... So good.

Literally, I think you saved my life.

Because was so depressed back then.

All I did was work and nothing else.

And so you came in And basically you gave me some purpose.

I can't wait for the time in ten years when I've got the means to, like, really give her the best Everything that I do know that she really, like, deserves and needs.

GRANDMOTHER: Can you remember the one big piece of advice that I gave all my kids and I give to?

No.

- You don█t remember it?

Lovely.

When things are the hardest, when they seem like they're the bleakest, You put one foot - You put one foot in front of the other.

- And you walk your way out of it.

Small steps will take you a long way.

Being able to tell my story through a film was, like, very interesting, cause I have a passion for film, and I really like filmmaking, and I've been wanting to tell the story for a really long time.

Telling a story that personal was very scary initially.

It took a lot of workshopping to kind of come up with the right way to tell it.

I've showed it my film class at school which is mostly white people.

And they really liked it.

I think my film helped them give an insight of like what me and like the other minorities might be going through, I'd say there's more closeness between me and my uncles specifically, because there were a lot of things that kind of were left unsaid.

And it's nice to know that they kind of have an understanding about how I felt about different things going on in my life.

It wasn't necessarily a topic that we talked about in our house.

And I think through doing this film we kind of opened up that conversation.

And I've definitely noticed, like we're talking about that a lot more.

- I would encourage people to have the hard conversations.

I think that they teach you a lot about not only where you came from, but where you're going and what you're going to kind of put out there.

- I learned a whole lot of stuff about my parents and grandparents that, like, I never knew, and... Even though it was very challenging to like open up that conversation at first I think it got easier over time, and like... In the end I got some really good stuff out of it.

Major funding for this program is provided by: The Lindsay-Brisbin Family Fund, The Russell Grinnell Memorial Trust, Steve and Mary Ann Waldorf, Betsy and Warren Dean, And the H. Chase Stone Charitable Trust.

Additional funding is provided by: Diverses Health, Arts in Society, Think 360 Arts for Learning.

The Joseph Henry Edmondson Foundation, the Bee Vradenburg Foundation, and the CALM Foundation.

For more information, additional resources, or to watch Our Time films, please visit: www.youthdocumentary.org